A
little known offshoot of The Cragin is the Mini Cragin. This
rambunctious tournament is open to only Original Charter Members of the
Cragin. You know, those four old Polacks who first thought of the
Cragin as they traveled near and far on Chicago CTA busses at odd wee
hours of the morning when old ladies on their way to work feared for
their lives from wedge wielding high school boys.
Sometimes it's Weasel and the Booming Hunter, sometimes it's Weasel and
Bear, sometimes Bear and Moe. Sometimes it's a foursome, or a
threesome or a twosome. And sometimes we play with
ourselves. Get your mind outta the gutter. Not THAT playing
with ourselves. A mini Cragin can be played as a onesome when no
other Charter Members are around or can get the day off. A
onesome is played against not yourself and the course. The other
Charter Members are there in spirit if not body since the onesome is
practicing always for that day when he will play with and against the
others. The difference is only that the other Charter Members
aren't there to fart and belch in the middle of a backswing.
The first mini Cragin was probably started one Good Friday shortly
after Moe got his first pari of golf shoes. Ever the frugal one,
which is just a nice way of saying he's a cheap SOB, Moe got these
shoes for two bucks at an estate sale. It was the shoes or an old
player piano that went for 300 bucks, and Moe naturally took the real
deal in the sale.
Much to the surprise of Weasel and Bear, Moe actually beat them that
Good Friday and the shoes henceforth became known as "Moe's Jesus
Shoes." The Good Friday game was usually the first match of
the year in the northern climes, probably because we were still in
school and Good Friday was the start of a long spring break where the
warm weather beckoned us to greens and sand traps.
So this year, Good Friday came and went. The match had been set
but the weather didn't cooperate and a mini Cragin had to be
canceled. Then The Cragin itself lost its home course at
Richmond, and things looked dismal for any matches in 2005.
Weasel discovered that not too many courses run a tournament where 25
people show up and run around pretending they know what they are doing
with a golf club in their hands. Or at least not with a short
notice.
Weasel and Moe got together at Foxford Hills in Cary, Illinois.
A wonderful, difficult course where they both shot so crummy that they
decided neither of them deserved a trophy of any kind let alone the
Cragin traveling cup. Their scores were gross. Really
gross. To mention they score would bring down the wrath of the
golf gods. That's what happens in the golf game.
After a season where Moe broke 85 a couple of times and broke 40
several times for nine hole, after a season where Weasel shot a 76,
both of our venerable Charter Members played like they didn't have a
clue. In short, they shot like shit.
But they farted and belched and laughed their way around just fine.
***
The Cragin has met most years of its existence at Hunter Country Club
in Richmond, Illinois. Those 18 holes are now history, reduced to
nine holes and a housing project. The encroachment of time and
man is sad. The Western Open is the oldest regular PGA tour event
and it too has seen a change in courses. The Cragin could do
worse, we suppose. Founder Weasel suggests that we find a new
home in Wisconsin. Bristol Oaks Golf Club in Kenosha Wisconsin is
a likely choice. Short and tight, challening for old farts and
curmudgeons. But accessible. Easy to get to. And much
to everyone's delight...cheap. The Cragin was played at Bristol
Oaks for ywo years during the mid 80s during the gour year hiatus from
Hunter. Now that Hunter has joined the ranks of condo golf and
doesn't seem destined to improved at all or return to 18 holes, maybe
it's time for a change in venue. Go visit the Bristol Oaks web page and be prepared for next year!
